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Annie
Administrator



United Kingdom

1040 Posts

Posted - 16/02/2006 :  08:51:36  Show Profile  Visit Annie's Homepage Send Annie a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Hi Smudger and welcome to our place of poetry.
I am delighted that you fell into out site and even happier that one of our poems made you want to join. Like others before me I agree with your sentiments, if I knew a member of the Sun I'd definitely send it to them as I too believe our forces are condemned without thought. Wrong? yes it was, no excuse? hmmm, now that needs discussion.
If men of war are supposed to go into war and behave like the politically correct then let our politicians fight for us, then we'll see how many vote for war. Sorry I too get carried away.
Annie x


Poetry is always in motion
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Pilgrim
Member

United Kingdom

2 Posts

Posted - 22/02/2006 :  17:17:17  Show Profile Send Pilgrim a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Hello Annie and everyone else,

Annie thank you very much for your lovely email and detailed response regarding me joining your band of poets it was very much appreciated.

I am usually a man of few words but I was emailed a poem by an ex team mate of mine a few weeks back and in it was the poem "This Mask We Wear". What an excellent poem. I too was moved when I read it and thats saying something. As soon as I read it I knew that he was perfect for what I was looking for. To fill everyone else in I read that poem and wanted Sandman to write a poem for me for a mate of mine so I asked Annie to contact Sandman. I have had a cracking email back and just to quote a line it reads -

"in truth we are all even now in the same family, we never leave not even those now dust, they are still our brothers and still with us"

Trust me, this man writes like his poems a real word smith if there is such a thing. When the poem is finished it will go on this site and I believe it will be a real stopper.

Thanks for the welcome aboard Annie you sound like a real foxy lady.

Respectfully

Pilgrim


"Pilgrim" = One who embarks on a quest for something conceived of as sacred
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Chris Green
Member



Newark-upon-Trent
United Kingdom


2301 Posts

Posted - 04/08/2006 :  19:36:46  Show Profile  Visit Chris Green's Homepage Send Chris Green a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Hello Annie,

I note that, as usual, I have failed to introduce myself, though my poetry tends to give people a fairly good idea of where I am coming from and you have kindly published a large selection of my work on here.

My life has been unusual in that I was born with autism and various physical defects, neither of which prevented me from joining the army and serving in The Queen's Royal Irish Hussars from 1971 to 1983.

I left with an 'Exemplary' in my 'red book', also known as 12 years undiscovered crime.

As to poetry I wrote my first piece called 'Shadows' at the age of 8 and before I could 'read' for my teacher, since I have always found speaking difficult and speaking out a book is particularly awkward as I find myself building the whole scene in my mind.

After the regiment I swanned around for a while started a dry-stone walling sole tradership and sold it for a profit, then ran a bricking gang and broke even; then I had a major nervous breakdown and spent 2 years in a lock up ward, 1 year living in a psychotherapy unit and 3 years in halfway houses until my licence was opened up to the world and I was finally discharged into the real world.

Along the way I was homeless for 6 months, but I never begged and always could find the jobs that got me a meal, a place to sleep or a shower or bath.

While at the halfway house I worked as a bus conductor for a year because I was frightened of travelling and this seemed to be an excellent way to get me over it, then I did a couple of years working as a night supervisor in a computer control room.

In the middle of that I was also the administrator for a group of lady house-cleaners.

Then I moved to Liverpool as a live-in carer for a lady who had epilepsy and multiple sclerosis and her son who had athetoid cerebral palsy with a mental age of 8 and able to move 2 fingers on his ;eft hand voluntarily. Unfortunately the lady died in 1998 and her son went into social services care.

In 1993 I founded my charitable company - DIG:ITT (the Disability Information Group: Integration Through Technology) - which is still going strong and we are completely unfunded.

The reason for that is that DIG:ITT was set up to provide a base for a worldwide collection of websites setup by people who are not only severely disabled but who are, and can demonstrate the fact, unemployable.

We do not advertise, we do not go for funding. we operate as a LETS (Local Exchange Trading Scheme) based on time rather than Barts, this is because Barts are taxable, whereas time is not.

There is a temptation with organisations which are funded to rely on that funding, each time there is a crisis, get more funding; eventually they fail.

The good organisations who use funding are also the ones who do not rely on it.

Now us, we use peoples' time and their knowledge and resources and share that among the group.

The intention is to provide a platform whereby people gain in confidence and, in many cases, go on to run successful commercial websites.

In 1994 I married Maureen and, for a time, we were very happy, then pressures on our family spilled over and by 2001 the marriage was failing although we did not part until January 2005.

2004 was a busy year in that I finally got a name for my eccentric behaviour - Asperger's Syndrome aka High Function Autism - and I had what was left of an exploded gall bladder removed.

At a physical level I have poly arthritis, which is both acute and chronic and the pain is bad, so bad that I did not notice that there was anything wrong with my gall bladder until I woke up in hospital after collapsing at home.

The poly arthritis breaks down into ankylosing spondylosis and I am fused from just above the waist (T9) down to the tail; cervical spondylosis and bones 1 to 4 are fused in my neck; displasier of the hips, I walk like a duck or a Charlie Chaplin imitator; the nerves in my spine are damaged and I have trigeminal neuralgia and sciatica down both legs from the waist; osteo and rheumatoid arthritis in my hands, feet, knees and elbows; eczema and psoriasis.

The autism affects my perception of the world:-

Chris Green: My Asperger's Syndrome

My AS covers all 11 of the main categories and 30 of 46 sub-categories, of the data-set, which is used to diagnose AS. I am classed as ‘severe’ and this means that I am also learning disabled. Yes, I am highly intelligent, but I am not working with the same mental set up as the rest of you.

The main differences between my world and yours are:

1.I cannot cope with noise. My ideal world is silent, and I can choose what I want to hear.
2.I live in a literal world. When I am in a new verbal situation I need the interviewer to be aware that I take things literally, and that most humour passes me by.
3.I do not have ‘common-sense’.
4.I do not understand the ‘obvious’.
5.I am face-blind.
6.I do not understand non-verbal communication.
7.I do not have an instinctive recognition of the 412 facial emotions.
8.I do not see a whole argument or description; I see parts of it.
9.I cannot relate one of my life experiences to another.
10. I cannot project likely outcomes for new situations.
11. I cannot see ways of doing things in new situations; I cannot think on my feet. In a verbal situation I need to be asked short questions, rather than someone spending half an hour asking a question it is better to break it down into a series of short and simple questions. It may be necessary to explain the question to me, or even to write it down so that I can see what is needed to be said.
12. I do not understand emotions.
13. I do not understand death or your need to be emotional about it.
14. Learning new things takes me a very long time, and I need people who can break the process down into a series of logical yet simple processes, so that I arrive at the same place as everybody else, but I have gone through the whole subject logically. I learn in the same way that a computer does, if you do not tell the computer or me, then we do not ‘understand’ what it is you are saying. Think that is why I like computers.
15. I collect things everything from crocodiles, through frogs to dragons, and it is a compulsion to collect and never to throw anything away, because it might be useful – on the other hand I hold regular audits of what I have, and the excess goes down to the charity shop for others to use.
16. I list things, massive lists of items, that I may or may not need, and I like to learn trivia, which is basically learning lists of data.
17. I cannot bear to be late and prefer to be early, and shall go to extremes to ensure that I am early.
18. I am totally mono-minded, which gives me phenomenal concentration when working on a project, but excludes the rest of the world, even down to eating or sleeping. On the other hand it means that I find it very difficult to switch from one subject to another, something as simple as being asked whether or not I want a cup of tea, will throw me into a sense of panic as I try to comprehend what is being asked. When I am being interviewed by a panel, I always say that I will talk to one member of the panel, and if questions could be channelled that way.
19. When I walk I am clumsy, and using my hands for things, e.g. DIY, it is a case of measure 9 times and still cut in the wrong place, or end up with a wavy line.
20. I live in a world of singularities and compartments. An analogy would be a library, where each book represents an experience. In your library, you can relate and analyse one experience against another, and, when confronted with something new, come to some form of conclusion about what actions are needed. My library does not have a card index, or any form of index, so I cannot relate to, or analyse the various books; each of my experiences is unique, and bares no relationship to any other experience, no matter how alike they may be to you, they are separate events for me.
21. Manipulative behaviour, I am no more manipulative than any other 5 year old (part of my development ceased at around age 5).
22. I have advanced language skills, at a written level, and have a good vocabulary; at a verbal level, I forget what I am trying to say, or what the question was. Whatever I am doing I try to travel with someone who acts as my communicator, if I get stuck. I do get stuck in logic loops and I ask people never to give me an 'either/or' or 'neither/nor' question as I am unable to answer these. I have learned how to prevent this.

In 1992 I got my first manual wheelchair and in 2000 I got my first powerchair and these are part of the pain management which allows me to function at a reasonable average level with the rest of the world.

In June 2005 the divorce became final and Maureen was free to do whatever it was she wished to do, and so likewise was I.

A few days ago I proposed to Nell and she accepted my suit.

This is perhaps a longish intro but then I have had a lot of experience of the downside of living and that comes out in some of my poems. So I thought I had better place an explanation.

Finally, I offer some advice:

Accept everyone as they really are and not as you want them to be;

Don't live other people's lives for them;

Don't knock it unless you have tried it several times.

Regards,
Chris Green
frankgreen2@virginmedia.com
http://chrisgreen.weebly.com/

Service before self

'A Poppy in My Buttonhole' available now SEE:
http://www.rossendalebooks.co.uk/
http://www.lulu.com/content/2791550

My next book will be "The Crcodile Chronicles" and is projected to be launched 2015 or a quarter past eight in time for Christmas.
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Annie
Administrator



United Kingdom

1040 Posts

Posted - 04/08/2006 :  23:45:20  Show Profile  Visit Annie's Homepage Send Annie a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Hello Chris and welcome,

A comprehansive hello it is but one of great interest. I appreciate your detailed explanations which allow me to complete a much better picture of who you are. When you arrived in the forum I was struck by your use of words, your wealth of knowledge and your willingness to help.

I hope that you enjoy yourself in here with us all and I know that you have quickly become a very valued member of our family and hope that you'll be with us for years to come with Nell by your side. Is Nell a bit of a poet on the side?

I look forward to your poetry, your sharing of knowledge and wish you many happy years with Nell.

Annie x

Annie x - Poetry is always in motion
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alisonmitchuk
Member

United Kingdom

85 Posts

Posted - 06/08/2006 :  09:06:18  Show Profile  Visit alisonmitchuk's Homepage Send alisonmitchuk a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Hi after submitting a couple of poems I thought I had better introduce myself, I was prompted after reading Chris’ introduction as I have a ten year old son with autism & tourette’s syndrome, and Chris practically describe my son .
My name is Alison I am a single mother of 4 children one of who is on a 7 month tour in Iraq at the moment, which is the reason I was looking for a site like this to help me cope with my emotions and find some sense from it all.
I love to write poems, and have many, but didn’t think most were appropriate for this site as they were not military connected , I added somebody somewhere after reading Chris poem on autism.
And wrote Another mans war after I felt a huge sense of loss when my son first went to Iraq.
I can’t write poems to order and only write them when something poignant happens. Reading the poems on this site has stirred up a lot of emotions, and given me food for thought, so thank you to everyone for sharing your most personal and private thoughts, it helps so many other people, me being one of them.
[url="alisonmitchuk@yahoo.co.uk[/url]
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Peaches
Member

United Kingdom

230 Posts

Posted - 06/08/2006 :  14:11:17  Show Profile  Visit Peaches's Homepage  Click to see Peaches's MSN Messenger address Send Peaches a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Welcome to the site Alison

If you want to chat about Iraq and emotions then e-mail me as I too have a loved one out in Iraq at the moment (2nd time now) so happy to chat.


Peaches.x.
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Annie
Administrator



United Kingdom

1040 Posts

Posted - 06/08/2006 :  15:36:31  Show Profile  Visit Annie's Homepage Send Annie a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Welcome Alison, it is great to see that our site is doing just what it was designed to do, share thoughts, be there for one another and help where we can. We'll look forward to your poetry as and when it arrives.

Annie x - Poetry is always in motion
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Chris Green
Member



Newark-upon-Trent
United Kingdom


2301 Posts

Posted - 07/08/2006 :  08:23:26  Show Profile  Visit Chris Green's Homepage Send Chris Green a Private Message  Reply with Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Annie

Hello Chris and welcome,

A comprehansive hello it is but one of great interest. I appreciate your detailed explanations which allow me to complete a much better picture of who you are. When you arrived in the forum I was struck by your use of words, your wealth of knowledge and your willingness to help.

I hope that you enjoy yourself in here with us all and I know that you have quickly become a very valued member of our family and hope that you'll be with us for years to come with Nell by your side. Is Nell a bit of a poet on the side?

I look forward to your poetry, your sharing of knowledge and wish you many happy years with Nell.

Annie x



Hello Annie,

My thanks for your comments.

Nell does write and often puts her poetry into her Blog on My Space, I shall see if she would like to join here and do some poems.

Regards,
Chris

Regards,
Chris Green
frankgreen2@virginmedia.com
http://chrisgreen.weebly.com/

Service before self

'A Poppy in My Buttonhole' available now SEE:
http://www.rossendalebooks.co.uk/
http://www.lulu.com/content/2791550

My next book will be "The Crcodile Chronicles" and is projected to be launched 2015 or a quarter past eight in time for Christmas.
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Chris Green
Member



Newark-upon-Trent
United Kingdom


2301 Posts

Posted - 07/08/2006 :  09:14:33  Show Profile  Visit Chris Green's Homepage Send Chris Green a Private Message  Reply with Quote
quote:
Originally posted by alisonmitchuk

Hi after submitting a couple of poems I thought I had better introduce myself, I was prompted after reading Chris’ introduction as I have a ten year old son with autism & tourette’s syndrome, and Chris practically describe my son .
My name is Alison I am a single mother of 4 children one of who is on a 7 month tour in Iraq at the moment, which is the reason I was looking for a site like this to help me cope with my emotions and find some sense from it all.
And wrote Another mans war after I felt a huge sense of loss when my son first went to Iraq.
I can’t write poems to order and only write them when something poignant happens. Reading the poems on this site has stirred up a lot of emotions, and given me food for thought, so thank you to everyone for sharing your most personal and private thoughts, it helps so many other people, me being one of them.
[url="alisonmitchuk@yahoo.co.uk[/url]



Hello Alison,

I'm glad that you have joined here as I think it is of some help.

Starting at the end of your email, I can relate to the writing of something at an emotional time, though I find that the keeping of a daily journal is just as important, since I can write down my thoughts, feelings, fears, ideas and the edgy elements of my world. Others who have been through traumatic experiences - and seeing one's son go off to war is certainly one of them - find being able to write, in whatever manner you need to do, a way of releasing the emotional pressures.

As to autism, it is not the end of the world, but rather it is an extension into a different place, imagine, if you will, that your world is represented by a circle and that autism too has a circle; where the two circles overlap is the world that is common to all of us and it is this overlap which allows communication to happen.

For me, I think that it is about 40% common ground and 60% my unique world.

I know nothing of your son, but I do know that breaking into the world of autism is particularly hard for a fully-integrated and social person; we do not have the overwhelming need to communicate, that you neurotypicals have.

Here, in this medium, I can slowly and carefully find what words I wish to use, I can rewrite passages, I can ensure that the exact message that I wish to give can be given accurately.

Speech on the other hand is a betrayer, it never gives me control of what I really want to say, because I cannot give you a facial lexicon to support my words, nor can I read your face in support of your words.

So much of speech is non-verbal and being face-blind means I am severely handicapped when it comes to speaking.

Having said that, I can analyse facial expressions, but then I lose all track of the words that are spoken.

The use of a 3rd party as a communicator is something that I have used successfully in business and in social contexts and my fiance, Nell, has agreed to be my voice and interpreter.

How I wish that I could have been diagnosed as a young child and to have had the extensive teaching assistance that is now available, to have a recognisable label, finally, is a weight off my shoulders and has made it easier to get DLA.

A knock on effect is that I am classed as unemployable which is ironic really when you consider what I have already achieved.

All languages are symbolic and art is the basis of most communication.

Are not letters and numbers squiggles on a sheet of paper? Do they have more value than a triangle or a square? Yet they both form a basis of talk along a common interest, a blank sheet of paper and some crayons or pencils.

Perhaps just the sheet of paper and crinkle it and listen to the wind whispering in the leaf as it twists and turns in my fingers, to feel the surface of the paper and the pittings and the shapes of the paper pulp, to watch the crinkled ball fall from my hand and hear it gently kiss the floor. To repeat it, over and over, catching every nuance of the act and every twist and turn of the leaf. To enjoy the leaf in its fullest extent and to take it and add it to the sensations that I have.

Watch an 'old man of the forest' as he picks up a sheet of paper and uses the flexibility of his lips and hands and feet to test and watch and sense the facets of paper, listen to the tearing, listen to the breeze and see it reshape the leaf time and again.

My world is so much more intense than yours, so much happens in the space of a second that it may take a lifetime to understand it, yet that understanding may not be useful or of purpose, yet an understanding of the form appears and disappears with each repetition as each unique act replaces the one before it.

Paintings of the senses and mind, sculptures carved in the wind, free of form and free of mental entanglements, enjoyment as a single focused point.

NTs spend money to achieve what I have naturally, they go to gurus and yogi, they expend time and effort learning to empty their minds and learning the methods of meditation - the repetition of single mnemonics - the 'Om' of Pratchett's Disc World and Eastern meditation - I do not envy them nor do I understand why they wish to leave their rich world and come into my place.

Do they seek enlightenment? Do they want to know the meaning of life? 42 or was it 43? Are they mice then seeking an irrelevent question to answer in a world of silence?

The meaning - hatched, matched and despatched - the continuance of the species.

Regards,
Chris Green
frankgreen2@virginmedia.com
http://chrisgreen.weebly.com/

Service before self

'A Poppy in My Buttonhole' available now SEE:
http://www.rossendalebooks.co.uk/
http://www.lulu.com/content/2791550

My next book will be "The Crcodile Chronicles" and is projected to be launched 2015 or a quarter past eight in time for Christmas.
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alisonmitchuk
Member

United Kingdom

85 Posts

Posted - 07/08/2006 :  16:06:55  Show Profile  Visit alisonmitchuk's Homepage Send alisonmitchuk a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Hi Chris,
initially I was devastated that my son was diagnosed with autism, but that was many years ago. I honestly feel truly blessed to have him, he has made me see the world through his eyes it’s a far better perspective than anyone else’s I’ve ever met
Alison x
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Annie
Administrator



United Kingdom

1040 Posts

Posted - 07/08/2006 :  18:04:46  Show Profile  Visit Annie's Homepage Send Annie a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Chris, I look forward to reading Nells poems.

Annie x - Poetry is always in motion
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alisonmitchuk
Member

United Kingdom

85 Posts

Posted - 07/08/2006 :  19:44:46  Show Profile  Visit alisonmitchuk's Homepage Send alisonmitchuk a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Thanks Annie & Peaches for the warm welcome,my son is due home at the end of the month so I will be beaming for a couple of weeks (:
Alison x
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Chris Green
Member



Newark-upon-Trent
United Kingdom


2301 Posts

Posted - 07/08/2006 :  19:44:56  Show Profile  Visit Chris Green's Homepage Send Chris Green a Private Message  Reply with Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Annie

Chris, I look forward to reading Nells poems.



Nell gets a bit down at times, I shall leave it for her to explain the situation as part of her introduction, though she does remind me of ancient Greece and the theatre of masks.

Regards,
Chris Green
frankgreen2@virginmedia.com
http://chrisgreen.weebly.com/

Service before self

'A Poppy in My Buttonhole' available now SEE:
http://www.rossendalebooks.co.uk/
http://www.lulu.com/content/2791550

My next book will be "The Crcodile Chronicles" and is projected to be launched 2015 or a quarter past eight in time for Christmas.
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ruthr
Member

London
United Kingdom


10 Posts

Posted - 14/08/2006 :  20:08:07  Show Profile Send ruthr a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Dear All,

My name is Ruth Rayment. I am the younger sibling of Christopher Rayment, he was deployed out to iraq 2 years ago. On the 4 th August it was the 2 year anniversary although this was a difficult experience i was able to prevent the tears !!

i started writing poetry from the age of about 12 or 13. I am amazed by the amount of unknown talented writers there are and i have been inspired in a huge way. I would like to say that Chris's introduction was intriguing .... and i wanted to say that i throughly enjoy reading your poems and cannot wait to read the next one ... they never fail to amaze me.

For the last two years i have been through what could only be described as an emotional rollcoaster ride i have seen 4 counsellors and each one had a very special quality and a sense of compassion and understanding when i mentioned my trama which has happened to me and my family. i left my first college in November when i was 16 and i was lost i didnt know whether to return or to leave and restart i went to my local church and somehow i knew that god had said something to me and i acted upon what he said ... i then joined another college where there i continued to go downhill fast i began to suffer with anxiety and panic attacks and this continued for quite some time. i would come home in between classes and felt the need to be at home, just to be near my parents. As my panic attacks increased it was affecting me hugely at college i seeked medical help from my doctor for the second time where there i recieved a mild anti-depressant.

i remember crying at night worried about the next day i was losing sleep and concentration and i barely ate and begun to feel so low and depressed i knew i had to decide whether i was to take these anti- depressants or not. I went against them and i saw a college counsellor, she was excellent she sat and listened to me for a full 50 mins every friday and it felt great being there.

i stayed with the counsellor for the continuing year and am waiting for my results from college my tutor predicted that i would leave with a distinction which in GCSE terms is an A. i was thrilled to have made it through the first year and would not have got this far if it were not for my family n friends and my tutor for helping me meet up with the counsellor.

" Without my family i am nothing, without strength n determination i lack in soul". A quote i believe is true and a quote i have thought of myslef.

r.rayment
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Annie
Administrator



United Kingdom

1040 Posts

Posted - 14/08/2006 :  22:01:04  Show Profile  Visit Annie's Homepage Send Annie a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Hi Ruth and may I say how lovely it is to see you on here. Your introduction was lovely and I particularly liked the quote. Look forward to more poems as and when they come along.

Annie x - Poetry is always in motion
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