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Chris Green
Member



Newark-upon-Trent
United Kingdom


2301 Posts

Posted - 09/09/2008 :  00:07:31  Show Profile  Visit Chris Green's Homepage Send Chris Green a Private Message  Reply with Quote
March june march june marching 12 12 12 1234 1234 1234 123 gloop I'm-all-wet!

Help!

Regards,
Chris Green
frankgreen2@virginmedia.com
http://chrisgreen.weebly.com/

Service before self

'A Poppy in My Buttonhole' available now SEE:
http://www.rossendalebooks.co.uk/
http://www.lulu.com/content/2791550

My next book will be "The Crcodile Chronicles" and is projected to be launched 2015 or a quarter past eight in time for Christmas.
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Chris Green
Member



Newark-upon-Trent
United Kingdom


2301 Posts

Posted - 12/09/2008 :  17:07:03  Show Profile  Visit Chris Green's Homepage Send Chris Green a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Oddenstein - slowly sinking into a bath of hot water - 'Aaaaaahhhh'

'Nothing better than lying in the bottom of a tank of hot water, watching the air get squeezed out of one's stuffing and the sounds of dust and cloth mites drowning and best of all - there is NO ONE ELSE.'

'Of course I shall have to get someone to lift me out of here, preferably before the water gets too cold or I start to drown, though I don't think I can drown, not being an air breather and all that.'

'I have got a black rubber croc suit with extra big flippers, which is a hoot for creeping up on people in the dark, Oddment turned several shades paler and his hide is still whiter than green and all I did was tap on the tummy.'

'I see you have a semi-circular moon again and you can see Moment fast asleep in his hammock - life has been so much quieter and safer since we catapulted him off to the moon.'

'Now where did I put that bulb?'

'Ah, here we are now to jump slowly up and down on it...'

Loud sounds of horn honking in bathroom.

'Ahah, always works, now grab me in the middle, that's my arm you idiot, no that's my snout and that is my tail - aaaaaaaaarrrrrggghhhhh!'

'You did not have to twist me round to squeeze the water out, you could have left me on the radiator to drip dry and you are going to have to press my tongue, it has several creases in it; look at my feet, all that twisting and how am I expected to be able to walk on those flippers?'

'Ah well, at least I am clean, wrapped up and on the radiator...Zzzzzzz...'

Regards,
Chris Green
frankgreen2@virginmedia.com
http://chrisgreen.weebly.com/

Service before self

'A Poppy in My Buttonhole' available now SEE:
http://www.rossendalebooks.co.uk/
http://www.lulu.com/content/2791550

My next book will be "The Crcodile Chronicles" and is projected to be launched 2015 or a quarter past eight in time for Christmas.
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Chris Green
Member



Newark-upon-Trent
United Kingdom


2301 Posts

Posted - 22/09/2008 :  00:13:32  Show Profile  Visit Chris Green's Homepage Send Chris Green a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Oddenstein is going on holiday with Oddment and me, when we go to London to look after Nell.

We are taking Eddy back with us, to Nell.

Regards,
Chris Green
frankgreen2@virginmedia.com
http://chrisgreen.weebly.com/

Service before self

'A Poppy in My Buttonhole' available now SEE:
http://www.rossendalebooks.co.uk/
http://www.lulu.com/content/2791550

My next book will be "The Crcodile Chronicles" and is projected to be launched 2015 or a quarter past eight in time for Christmas.
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Chris Green
Member



Newark-upon-Trent
United Kingdom


2301 Posts

Posted - 23/09/2008 :  23:57:24  Show Profile  Visit Chris Green's Homepage Send Chris Green a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Gill has left another bear for me to take down to Nell, it is going to be a very big rucksack.

Regards,
Chris Green
frankgreen2@virginmedia.com
http://chrisgreen.weebly.com/

Service before self

'A Poppy in My Buttonhole' available now SEE:
http://www.rossendalebooks.co.uk/
http://www.lulu.com/content/2791550

My next book will be "The Crcodile Chronicles" and is projected to be launched 2015 or a quarter past eight in time for Christmas.
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Chris Green
Member



Newark-upon-Trent
United Kingdom


2301 Posts

Posted - 25/09/2008 :  08:21:34  Show Profile  Visit Chris Green's Homepage Send Chris Green a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Oddenstein to the Crocodile Swamp Committee, "I propose that we introduce a Teddy Bear Tax."


Regards,
Chris Green
frankgreen2@virginmedia.com
http://chrisgreen.weebly.com/

Service before self

'A Poppy in My Buttonhole' available now SEE:
http://www.rossendalebooks.co.uk/
http://www.lulu.com/content/2791550

My next book will be "The Crcodile Chronicles" and is projected to be launched 2015 or a quarter past eight in time for Christmas.
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taffy
Member



Oswestry Shropshire.
United Kingdom


2073 Posts

Posted - 25/09/2008 :  11:05:58  Show Profile  Visit taffy's Homepage Send taffy a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Hello, Have been reading about this guy Oddenstein for yonks, the name facinates me, I often think of him as some kind of underwater creature, sitting at the bottom of a pond seated on a sort of Toadstool seat, dressed in odd clothes playing a big grand piano, to hundreds of Tom's odd socks, with someone called Oddment conducting a full band of strange creatures, and i want to find my underwater gear and join in. Taffy
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Chris Green
Member



Newark-upon-Trent
United Kingdom


2301 Posts

Posted - 21/10/2008 :  20:19:54  Show Profile  Visit Chris Green's Homepage Send Chris Green a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Yawn, Zzzzzzzzz

Regards,
Chris Green
frankgreen2@virginmedia.com
http://chrisgreen.weebly.com/

Service before self

'A Poppy in My Buttonhole' available now SEE:
http://www.rossendalebooks.co.uk/
http://www.lulu.com/content/2791550

My next book will be "The Crcodile Chronicles" and is projected to be launched 2015 or a quarter past eight in time for Christmas.
Go to Top of Page

Chris Green
Member



Newark-upon-Trent
United Kingdom


2301 Posts

Posted - 21/10/2008 :  20:24:07  Show Profile  Visit Chris Green's Homepage Send Chris Green a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Oddenstein and Oddment are coming to the book launch with me and Nell.

"Zo u vill enjoy meetink mit me," rasping cough, splutter, "I thuppothe you think thatth thunny." Sidle, limp, sidle, limp..

Regards,
Chris Green
frankgreen2@virginmedia.com
http://chrisgreen.weebly.com/

Service before self

'A Poppy in My Buttonhole' available now SEE:
http://www.rossendalebooks.co.uk/
http://www.lulu.com/content/2791550

My next book will be "The Crcodile Chronicles" and is projected to be launched 2015 or a quarter past eight in time for Christmas.
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janhedger
Administrator



United Kingdom

4216 Posts

Posted - 22/10/2008 :  09:58:48  Show Profile  Visit janhedger's Homepage  Send janhedger an AOL message Send janhedger a Private Message  Reply with Quote
A real bonus - meeting the crocs! Do I have to wear a hat now?
Jan

We cannot stop, because if a single one of these men were taken and shot, that would be our fault - Edith Cavell
http://www.janscreativewriting.co.uk/ -updated Aug 17 - with new poems/photo's - video interviews - see PowerPoint slide shows, audio files & my books.
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Chris Green
Member



Newark-upon-Trent
United Kingdom


2301 Posts

Posted - 22/10/2008 :  18:49:53  Show Profile  Visit Chris Green's Homepage Send Chris Green a Private Message  Reply with Quote
The crocs have told me that I am going to Brighton and they are going with me - oh well, I suppose the money will turn up, along with my sister (everything is dual signature).

Regards,
Chris Green
frankgreen2@virginmedia.com
http://chrisgreen.weebly.com/

Service before self

'A Poppy in My Buttonhole' available now SEE:
http://www.rossendalebooks.co.uk/
http://www.lulu.com/content/2791550

My next book will be "The Crcodile Chronicles" and is projected to be launched 2015 or a quarter past eight in time for Christmas.
Go to Top of Page

Chris Green
Member



Newark-upon-Trent
United Kingdom


2301 Posts

Posted - 23/10/2008 :  18:54:50  Show Profile  Visit Chris Green's Homepage Send Chris Green a Private Message  Reply with Quote
On the other hand, I have the money but still can't go, oh well,we were so looking forward to networking and meeting new people (sotto voce - and eating them) - very big grin.

Regards,
Chris Green
frankgreen2@virginmedia.com
http://chrisgreen.weebly.com/

Service before self

'A Poppy in My Buttonhole' available now SEE:
http://www.rossendalebooks.co.uk/
http://www.lulu.com/content/2791550

My next book will be "The Crcodile Chronicles" and is projected to be launched 2015 or a quarter past eight in time for Christmas.
Go to Top of Page

Chris Green
Member



Newark-upon-Trent
United Kingdom


2301 Posts

Posted - 30/10/2008 :  21:30:03  Show Profile  Visit Chris Green's Homepage Send Chris Green a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Woe is me....ill....illl......illlllll!!

Hang on a minute, all we have to do is unplug the feed to the bipeds brain - and the we are free!

No, that won't work we welded the plugs and wires so the biped could not remove them.

There must be a way?

Oddment why aren't you figuring this out?

Oddment: What's the problem?

Oddenstein: The biped has tonsilitis and I feel horrible.

Oddment: I feel fine, did you remove your circuit breaker?

Oddenstein: Whaaaaat Circuit breaker?

Oddment: The one I installed between your eye sockets, ah, let me see now, ah yes, hang on....right that's it. How do you feel now?

Yawwwwwwwn...ZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzz

Regards,
Chris Green
frankgreen2@virginmedia.com
http://chrisgreen.weebly.com/

Service before self

'A Poppy in My Buttonhole' available now SEE:
http://www.rossendalebooks.co.uk/
http://www.lulu.com/content/2791550

My next book will be "The Crcodile Chronicles" and is projected to be launched 2015 or a quarter past eight in time for Christmas.
Go to Top of Page

Chris Green
Member



Newark-upon-Trent
United Kingdom


2301 Posts

Posted - 13/11/2008 :  02:04:07  Show Profile  Visit Chris Green's Homepage Send Chris Green a Private Message  Reply with Quote
This radiator has gone cold, mutter, curse, my feet are frozen solid, Oddment I can't move...

Zzzzzzzsnortwhassup?

Oh its you, hang on I'll see if I can borrow the crow's bar again and I'll see if we can lever you off.

Some time later...

Aaaaaaark-eeeeeeeeerk-eeeeeeekcreak aaaaaaaargh thud!!!

At the scene of major devastation where the crocodile landed in the middle of the dust mite connurbation and flattened an area equivalent to Manhattan Island, this left a lot of homeless dust mites who promptly attacked the thoughtlessly unconscious Oddenstein and carried him for several lifetimes, or about 3 feet, and dropped him on top of the carpet mites, who all ran like hell for the underlay.

Meanwhile the Kapok mites were thoroughly alarmed by now and aftermuch kicking and hammering managed to restart Oddenstein's brain, once they had found the manual which was hidden away in a spare drawer down in the aft end.

The brain after carrying out an assessment of the damage promptly had a heart attack and was run over by several deer.

After much negotiation and the employment of a severely under-nourished Quark to negotiate between the mite haves and the mite not haves it was decided that Oddenstein owed a dustpan of dust for where he landed.

The crows then took charge and he was hoisted back onto his radiator and then the dust was brushed off and dropped down to the floor.

All was piecefully peaceful and the darklight dripped from shadows as the flowers all went to sleep and the crows went back to their bar...

Regards,
Chris Green
frankgreen2@virginmedia.com
http://chrisgreen.weebly.com/

Service before self

'A Poppy in My Buttonhole' available now SEE:
http://www.rossendalebooks.co.uk/
http://www.lulu.com/content/2791550

My next book will be "The Crcodile Chronicles" and is projected to be launched 2015 or a quarter past eight in time for Christmas.
Go to Top of Page

Chris Green
Member



Newark-upon-Trent
United Kingdom


2301 Posts

Posted - 15/11/2008 :  14:25:08  Show Profile  Visit Chris Green's Homepage Send Chris Green a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Its half-past-Sunday, where's that travelling alarm clock?

On holiday, on Holiday, what do you mean the clock has gone on holiday?


Regards,
Chris Green
frankgreen2@virginmedia.com
http://chrisgreen.weebly.com/

Service before self

'A Poppy in My Buttonhole' available now SEE:
http://www.rossendalebooks.co.uk/
http://www.lulu.com/content/2791550

My next book will be "The Crcodile Chronicles" and is projected to be launched 2015 or a quarter past eight in time for Christmas.
Go to Top of Page

Chris Green
Member



Newark-upon-Trent
United Kingdom


2301 Posts

Posted - 18/12/2008 :  17:18:30  Show Profile  Visit Chris Green's Homepage Send Chris Green a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Happy Humbug to all our readers and Nell is out of hospital and I have a nice new thermal body stocking - so does Oddment, but mine fits like a glove - his fits like a potato sack.

Nell had her camera out today and I have had a few photos done - Oddment got into a few shots as well.

Speaking of which I must mount my multi-barrelled elephant gun on its gimball bearing and attach the radar unit - we had an excellent boxing day last year and sold no end of pre-boxed rheindeer steaks, the sledge sold well as well, mind you, getting the blood stains out of the seat took ages.

Then there was all the pressies and the time and dimensional space bag, which is a great boon for holding rallies, garden parties and auctions.

We are all looking forward to an equally successful 'Humbug' this year.

Regards,
Chris Green
frankgreen2@virginmedia.com
http://chrisgreen.weebly.com/

Service before self

'A Poppy in My Buttonhole' available now SEE:
http://www.rossendalebooks.co.uk/
http://www.lulu.com/content/2791550

My next book will be "The Crcodile Chronicles" and is projected to be launched 2015 or a quarter past eight in time for Christmas.
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