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Chris Green
Member



Newark-upon-Trent
United Kingdom


2301 Posts

Posted - 07/02/2009 :  08:52:00  Show Profile  Visit Chris Green's Homepage Send Chris Green a Private Message  Reply with Quote
After several false starts and much quiet vituperation and 3 visits to the sewing machine to have flippers sewn back on, Oddenstein finally gets the piling machine to work gently.

I see you got it figured out, at last, what did you do?

I changed the design of the weight.

Yes?

Well as long as something is the same size it ought to work in the machine -

Yes?

It was very simple after that.

So how come you had to go in for repairs three times?

Well the first time I got trampled on by a herd of llamas.

Yes?

Then I got kicked by an ostrich.

Yes?

Then I got trapped under the weight, but I finally sussed it out.

Yes?

Duck.

Where?

No, ducks.

Ducks?

Well feathers.

Ducks and feathers?

No, defeathered ducks.

You were attacked by defeathered ducks?

Yes, but that was aft towards...

Aft towards?

The back where the feathers were stored...

Right, so what have the feathers to do?

Well I was in a bit of a question, you know one of them quarries, this or that, so I decided to do both - I used Eider.

Regards,
Chris Green
frankgreen2@virginmedia.com
http://chrisgreen.weebly.com/

Service before self

'A Poppy in My Buttonhole' available now SEE:
http://www.rossendalebooks.co.uk/
http://www.lulu.com/content/2791550

My next book will be "The Crcodile Chronicles" and is projected to be launched 2015 or a quarter past eight in time for Christmas.
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Annie
Administrator



United Kingdom

1040 Posts

Posted - 08/02/2009 :  11:20:33  Show Profile  Visit Annie's Homepage Send Annie a Private Message  Reply with Quote
More Gin required!

Annie x - Poetry is always in motion
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Chris Green
Member



Newark-upon-Trent
United Kingdom


2301 Posts

Posted - 22/02/2009 :  14:44:26  Show Profile  Visit Chris Green's Homepage Send Chris Green a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Figment: Gin? That's a type of trap, isn't it?

Oddment: Yes, you surely remember when His Awfulness fell into the gin cabinet and it took all week to get the traps off him?

Figment: Oh, yes...Grin...

Regards,
Chris Green
frankgreen2@virginmedia.com
http://chrisgreen.weebly.com/

Service before self

'A Poppy in My Buttonhole' available now SEE:
http://www.rossendalebooks.co.uk/
http://www.lulu.com/content/2791550

My next book will be "The Crcodile Chronicles" and is projected to be launched 2015 or a quarter past eight in time for Christmas.
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janhedger
Administrator



United Kingdom

4216 Posts

Posted - 22/02/2009 :  22:15:21  Show Profile  Visit janhedger's Homepage  Send janhedger an AOL message Send janhedger a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Such laughter! It was a real tonic! He felt a right lemon!
Jan

We cannot stop, because if a single one of these men were taken and shot, that would be our fault - Edith Cavell
http://www.janscreativewriting.co.uk/ -updated Aug 17 - with new poems/photo's - video interviews - see PowerPoint slide shows, audio files & my books.
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Chris Green
Member



Newark-upon-Trent
United Kingdom


2301 Posts

Posted - 24/02/2009 :  15:43:25  Show Profile  Visit Chris Green's Homepage Send Chris Green a Private Message  Reply with Quote
It is that Monday feeling of not being all there or of being beside yourself.

Regards,
Chris Green
frankgreen2@virginmedia.com
http://chrisgreen.weebly.com/

Service before self

'A Poppy in My Buttonhole' available now SEE:
http://www.rossendalebooks.co.uk/
http://www.lulu.com/content/2791550

My next book will be "The Crcodile Chronicles" and is projected to be launched 2015 or a quarter past eight in time for Christmas.
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janhedger
Administrator



United Kingdom

4216 Posts

Posted - 24/02/2009 :  17:31:08  Show Profile  Visit janhedger's Homepage  Send janhedger an AOL message Send janhedger a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Beside myself - another one of me! How scary!
Jan

We cannot stop, because if a single one of these men were taken and shot, that would be our fault - Edith Cavell
http://www.janscreativewriting.co.uk/ -updated Aug 17 - with new poems/photo's - video interviews - see PowerPoint slide shows, audio files & my books.
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Chris Green
Member



Newark-upon-Trent
United Kingdom


2301 Posts

Posted - 27/02/2009 :  19:45:31  Show Profile  Visit Chris Green's Homepage Send Chris Green a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Or when the top half of your body is on one couch and the bottom half is on another.

Regards,
Chris Green
frankgreen2@virginmedia.com
http://chrisgreen.weebly.com/

Service before self

'A Poppy in My Buttonhole' available now SEE:
http://www.rossendalebooks.co.uk/
http://www.lulu.com/content/2791550

My next book will be "The Crcodile Chronicles" and is projected to be launched 2015 or a quarter past eight in time for Christmas.
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Chris Green
Member



Newark-upon-Trent
United Kingdom


2301 Posts

Posted - 11/03/2009 :  13:59:24  Show Profile  Visit Chris Green's Homepage Send Chris Green a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Mind you it is handy to have a removable tail, so much easier when one gets packed in the rucksack.

Mind you my tail is long enough to use as a sleeping bag - which reminds me...

Regards,
Chris Green
frankgreen2@virginmedia.com
http://chrisgreen.weebly.com/

Service before self

'A Poppy in My Buttonhole' available now SEE:
http://www.rossendalebooks.co.uk/
http://www.lulu.com/content/2791550

My next book will be "The Crcodile Chronicles" and is projected to be launched 2015 or a quarter past eight in time for Christmas.
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Chris Green
Member



Newark-upon-Trent
United Kingdom


2301 Posts

Posted - 18/03/2009 :  12:36:52  Show Profile  Visit Chris Green's Homepage Send Chris Green a Private Message  Reply with Quote
I am writing a crocodile short story for this competition and also for another one that I am involved with for the Fosse Way Writers.

I am also writing some competition poems for the Newark Poetry Society Competition and they have a chance of going through to Poetry Nottingham.

The crocs will be with me at the British Library on Saturay - if it is not too cold.

Regards,
Chris Green
frankgreen2@virginmedia.com
http://chrisgreen.weebly.com/

Service before self

'A Poppy in My Buttonhole' available now SEE:
http://www.rossendalebooks.co.uk/
http://www.lulu.com/content/2791550

My next book will be "The Crcodile Chronicles" and is projected to be launched 2015 or a quarter past eight in time for Christmas.
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Tom Mcgreevy
Administrator



Ex-English Army ( Ex-pat Geordie ), Berkshire
United Kingdom


4098 Posts

Posted - 18/03/2009 :  13:40:34  Show Profile  Visit Tom Mcgreevy's Homepage Send Tom Mcgreevy a Private Message  Reply with Quote
When I was a Boy ( Many Moons ago ) Chris... I used to live in ' Walker ', Newcastle Upon Tyne, at ' The Fosseway '
How strange is that ?

http://im-a-soldier-get-me-out-of-here.weebly.com


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Chris Green
Member



Newark-upon-Trent
United Kingdom


2301 Posts

Posted - 30/03/2009 :  19:38:52  Show Profile  Visit Chris Green's Homepage Send Chris Green a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Its a long way to top-of-Fosse-Way
Its a long, long way to go...

Regards,
Chris Green
frankgreen2@virginmedia.com
http://chrisgreen.weebly.com/

Service before self

'A Poppy in My Buttonhole' available now SEE:
http://www.rossendalebooks.co.uk/
http://www.lulu.com/content/2791550

My next book will be "The Crcodile Chronicles" and is projected to be launched 2015 or a quarter past eight in time for Christmas.
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Chris Green
Member



Newark-upon-Trent
United Kingdom


2301 Posts

Posted - 03/04/2009 :  17:37:35  Show Profile  Visit Chris Green's Homepage Send Chris Green a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Tipper-rare-re:

49 hexadecagonals = ?

Regards,
Chris Green
frankgreen2@virginmedia.com
http://chrisgreen.weebly.com/

Service before self

'A Poppy in My Buttonhole' available now SEE:
http://www.rossendalebooks.co.uk/
http://www.lulu.com/content/2791550

My next book will be "The Crcodile Chronicles" and is projected to be launched 2015 or a quarter past eight in time for Christmas.
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Chris Green
Member



Newark-upon-Trent
United Kingdom


2301 Posts

Posted - 06/04/2009 :  02:25:07  Show Profile  Visit Chris Green's Homepage Send Chris Green a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Slide that abbacus over here and don't knock the lever - the singing is driving me seriously round the bend...

Right so you have your rock set up as 16 sided pieces, yes?

Right, so how can you possibly have 49 uprights?

Are you building a triangular shaped building?

No.

Right so it can't be 49 otherwise one of the corners would fall off...

You can't have a building with no corners...

What do you mean this one has no corners?

Aaaaaaaargh!!!

If it is circular then it has corners all round it.

However, 49 would do for a circular building...

Regards,
Chris Green
frankgreen2@virginmedia.com
http://chrisgreen.weebly.com/

Service before self

'A Poppy in My Buttonhole' available now SEE:
http://www.rossendalebooks.co.uk/
http://www.lulu.com/content/2791550

My next book will be "The Crcodile Chronicles" and is projected to be launched 2015 or a quarter past eight in time for Christmas.
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Chris Green
Member



Newark-upon-Trent
United Kingdom


2301 Posts

Posted - 07/04/2009 :  17:59:55  Show Profile  Visit Chris Green's Homepage Send Chris Green a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Fist.

Fist who?

Thump...

Now knock off the 'knock-knock' jokes, did you get the thread map?

Eh?

Did you get the carpet?

Yes.

Good, then we can have a bit of fun...

Regards,
Chris Green
frankgreen2@virginmedia.com
http://chrisgreen.weebly.com/

Service before self

'A Poppy in My Buttonhole' available now SEE:
http://www.rossendalebooks.co.uk/
http://www.lulu.com/content/2791550

My next book will be "The Crcodile Chronicles" and is projected to be launched 2015 or a quarter past eight in time for Christmas.

Edited by - Chris Green on 13/04/2009 15:30:02
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Chris Green
Member



Newark-upon-Trent
United Kingdom


2301 Posts

Posted - 13/04/2009 :  15:28:20  Show Profile  Visit Chris Green's Homepage Send Chris Green a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Oddenstein: "Right, unroll it."

Oddment: "Where are we?"

Oddenstein: "Slap bang in the middle, where any decent swamp should be."

Oddment: "How about looking around the edges of the swamp?"

Oddenstein: "Good idea, but I was thinking about going a little further out..."

Regards,
Chris Green
frankgreen2@virginmedia.com
http://chrisgreen.weebly.com/

Service before self

'A Poppy in My Buttonhole' available now SEE:
http://www.rossendalebooks.co.uk/
http://www.lulu.com/content/2791550

My next book will be "The Crcodile Chronicles" and is projected to be launched 2015 or a quarter past eight in time for Christmas.
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