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janhedger
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United Kingdom

4309 Posts

Posted - 04/01/2019 :  15:48:18  Show Profile  Visit janhedger's Homepage  Send janhedger an AOL message Send janhedger a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Snow Chains

All was still and quiet on the lonely road through the woods. Snow laden arms of the tall spruces, linked to welcome in the New Year. The moment was near midnight, anticipation was high.
For weeks the temperature had been below freezing, rendering the road impassable – which was how the trees liked it.
The last time, a car had tried to make it; before the road iced completely; one of the trees had to sacrifice itself, tear up its roots and fall with a resounding crash across the bonnet, spearing one of its now snow-free branches through the windscreen. Pearls of shattered glass cascaded and became invisible in the ice.
The man exposed; slumped across the wheel. For hours he drifted in and out of consciousness; always in his lucid moments, an image of the woman’s face looms up in front of him; mocking, deriding – before he had plunged the knife deep in her chest.
Was it her blood he felt, sticky on his hands? He slept again. The blood stopped in its tracks, unsure of which way to go, coagulating in the viciousness of winter, before it blotted the virginal whiteness.
The trees had it contained, their master was pleased.
As the last days of the year drew to a close, fresh snow fell thick and fast obliterating the stranded car.
The spruces sighed, releasing stray snowflakes in a final flurry and waited...
Midnight fell but no chimes were heard, just the rattle of snow chains, the dying breath.

Jan Hedger



We cannot stop, because if a single one of these men were taken and shot, that would be our fault - Edith Cavell
http://www.janscreativewriting.co.uk/ -updated Aug 17 - with new poems/photo's - video interviews - see PowerPoint slide shows, audio files & my books.

sherlock
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nottingham
United Kingdom


400 Posts

Posted - 08/01/2019 :  18:22:37  Show Profile Send sherlock a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Great story Jan. Love the idea of trees bringing justice. Poetic justice poetically written. Don

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janhedger
Administrator



United Kingdom

4309 Posts

Posted - 10/01/2019 :  03:19:41  Show Profile  Visit janhedger's Homepage  Send janhedger an AOL message Send janhedger a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Thanks Don - bit of a departure for me and I enjoyed writing it
Jan

We cannot stop, because if a single one of these men were taken and shot, that would be our fault - Edith Cavell
http://www.janscreativewriting.co.uk/ -updated Aug 17 - with new poems/photo's - video interviews - see PowerPoint slide shows, audio files & my books.
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Rob Carson
Member

carlisle
United Kingdom


308 Posts

Posted - 10/01/2019 :  14:55:13  Show Profile Send Rob Carson a Private Message  Reply with Quote
A lot of powerful allusions:
'The pearls of shattered glass cascading...' I especially liked the exploding-into-smithereens image that evokes.' Then, blood-chillingly visceral, the line'..coagulating in the viciousness of winter,' bites deep too. And that clangourous last line, I thought, an excellently worded ending....

The primal force of Nature exacts a terrible revenge.... we should all watch our steps...

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janhedger
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United Kingdom

4309 Posts

Posted - 12/01/2019 :  07:33:42  Show Profile  Visit janhedger's Homepage  Send janhedger an AOL message Send janhedger a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Aww thanks Rob - especially for picking out certain lines - piece was inspired by one of those workshops that asks you to choose 5 unrelated words out of 10 and not to think to hard about which words to choose. Glad I was able to achieve with the words I chose - pearls was one of them.

Jan

We cannot stop, because if a single one of these men were taken and shot, that would be our fault - Edith Cavell
http://www.janscreativewriting.co.uk/ -updated Aug 17 - with new poems/photo's - video interviews - see PowerPoint slide shows, audio files & my books.
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